It’s 1st January, 2023 in India. The new year has begun. I have already reflected on my previous years, seen myself break and rise, faced a lot and saw myself changing by the end of 2022. I have a long way to go, to work on myself, to be a better version of me, to have a fortunate and fulfilling life. But before I delve into that, I want to write to my past self, to the girl who no longer exists and thank her for all the hardships she has faced for me.
Dear old me,
I know you went through a lot. Having thoughts of suicide at such an early age is not something a child should go through, but you did. You did, you tried, failed and cried. You faced the cruel world, the mental trauma you went through when people looked at you with distaste, with evilness because you gained puberty at a very age and had a chest when no other girls had. The comments they made under their breath but you were able to hear that. You faced all that and kept living, hoping to die every single day. You learnt to lower your eyes, thus, gaining social anxiety and depression.
You were pampered by your dad, and trust me he loved you a lot, he still does. He fulfilled all your wishes, but deep down, you weren’t as happy. There’s only so much you can talk to your parents. You felt lonely. Your friends treated you like a use and throw garbage, thus, you believed you were. You never had any true friends in your school life, sweetie, and the ones who did became good friends, well, I don’t know where they are and what they are doing right now.
People are meant to move on, to create their life, to shape their dreams. You faced challenges your whole life. You lived under a rock because you didn’t know what being an introvert means, so you thought you were different. Well, you are different. I am different. In our own unique way. You died in 2022 and created me, the one who is stronger, determined, passionate and goal oriented.
You shaped me and now it’s my duty to make you proud. You lived for others, didn’t know your own self, I will live for me and practice self love, because everyone, everything will come and go, but I will be the only person who will love me the most. Loving yourself is the most beautiful and most important thing to do, it is above everything.
You made your mark and I will carry it forward in 2023 and coming years. I may not be you, but I learnt a lot from you. I know I’m allowed to make mistakes too, but I will learn from it and work on becoming better and better. It’ll be hard but you are the past and I am the future. We aren’t the same. I will take lessons from you and execute it in my life, in my hard times and in my dreams that I wish to live one day.
I want to give you a tight, warm hug and tell you that it’s okay. You did amazing. We did amazing. Now it’s my turn to take it forward from here.
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Goodbye 2022, Welcome 2023
With the end of 2022, I’m keeping my past where it belongs, in the past and opening myself up for new beginnings, new opportunities, new dreams, new miracles and a brand new life. I want to grow as a writer, as a blogger, as a designer, as a person and as a human. There are times when I want to crawl back to some of the phases of my life that had become my comfort zone but I know that’s a heartache I have to bear if I want to grow and be something in my life.
I have made peace with my past and my past self and with that I welcome positively, abundance, success and wealth in my life along with this beautiful new year of 2023. So happy new year to my lovely readers, to the people who support me in this journey and to the people who are yet to come in my life.
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